My first initiation

At festival I was going to ask for initiation from my spiritual master Bhakti Chaitanya Swami, but at the same time some strange voice inside spoke me: ” do not be in a hurry ! You will not manage! You are not  ready!  You are too weak!”.

Sometimes it sounded loud, but sometimes it calmed down. My Godbrother Acharyaratna told me: ” we can wait for 10 years and see if we become more pure, but it may not happen! Only by Guru’s mercy we are capable to get rid from anarthas, therefore it is necessary to take shelter! ”

My mind calmed down a bit, but not too much. However I  had a dream in a train with Maharaja! There was to be a programme at a school, and we were waiting for Maharaja to arrive. Finally He came! We were pleased to meet him, and I for some reason found myself sitting near by Gurudev. Then the dream broke, but i felt more convinced, and I decided to ask Gurudev for initiation.

Then I wrote this poem.

Bhakti Caitanya Swami

4.30am, I rise from bed,
And the sun from my window can’t be seen.
Therefore I pray: “Srimate
Bhakti Caitanya Swamin iti namine!”

My Gurudev - He serves Prabhupada by
Speeches, business, in reality, in dream.
Therefore I bow: “Srimate
Bhakti Caitanya Swamin iti namine !”

And if maya comes crawling inopportunely,
and the intelligence flashes with sensual fire
Therefore I pray: “Srimate
Bhakti Caitanya Swamin iti namine!”

He is like a  doctor in a saffron gown!
He is Gauranga-soldier on a horse!
With great respect I pray: “Srimate
Bhakti Caitanya Swamin ite namine!”

Words are simple. But the instructions are sufficient:
To settlement, city, village and the country.
And I speak through my heart: “Srimate
Bhakti Caytanya Swamin ite namine!”

I am a rascal and have spent my life.
Pretence, envy, anger sit in me.
One rescue is japa and: ” Srimate
Bhakti Catanya Swamin ite namine! ”

When we have arrived at the festival, I understood that the most important thing that I want at this festival, it is to be near to the spiritual master, and to serve him. I asked Krishna about it. I prayed to the Deities Sri Sri Nitai Gaura Hari who had with us from the apartment of Acaryaratna.

When Maharaja arrived he was met by about 25 desciples and well-wishers. He has flown into Anapa and then he was brought to Кrinitsa, to the hotel “Seagull” where all the senior devotees were staying. It was quite cold, but nevertheless Gurudeva lived there for the whole festival and was available there for darshans

The first darshan.

Even before the first lecture, in conversation with the president of our yatra, Rasabihari prabhu, Maharaja agreed to initiate me, along with Tatyana, Acaryaratna’s wife. During darshan I asked Maharaja, how to develop my spiritual life after initiation. Gurudeva explained:

It is necessary to wake up early and chant early in the morning. If we rise early and we chant our rounds, we will naturally progress in our spiritual lives, but if we rise late and we chant rounds late, our spiritual
lives in due course will deteriorate and come to an end!

I told Maharaja that I already heard him say that in lectures.

- Yes, - he smiles. - I speak all the time about it! Do you chant your
rounds in the morning?

- In part, - I am confused.

- How many?

- Something like half in the morning, the others I chant during day -

Surprisingly, even though my English has remained at a school child’s level, still I managed to understand most of what Maharaja spoke, without a translator. If someone else were to speak  I would practically understand nothing, but my guru speaks as though specially for me! And language barriers start to be erased.

Morning japa.

Bhakti Caitanya Swami  has a wonderful spiritual tradition at the festival - to chant japa in the mornings with his disciples (although actually some others come also). During the festival I came three times for japa  with Maharaja, and I chanted inattentively all three times.

Please try to imagine the situation, that for the whole year did not see the spiritual master, and then meet him! Naturally all your attention will be concentrated on him.

During japa time I always sat near to Maharaja and started to chant the holy names, and even if I managed to concentrate firstly on a sound vibration then gradually all my attention passed to the guru and I started to think of him.

I tried to pull my mind back, and it was possible for me for some time, but then it was again switched to the guru. This was always happening.

The second darsana was in the form of interview for our yatra newsletter. I asked: “Why did Vidura not try to help Draupadi when she was being undressed in the assembly? “, “Why did Bhishma fight on the side of the Kurus? ” “Where does Paramatma go when the soul goes to spiritual world?” Gurudeva patiently answered these and other questions.

Gurudeva’s lectures were held in a small tent. They began at 10.30. First we together with Gurudeva sang a bhajan, then there was a seminar, and then we synchronously chanted one round of japa. In general at this festival it was possible to plunge into Ocean of the holy names in the association of Bhakti Caitanya Swami!

In the second lecture, at the end, Maharaja explained:

- We should chant attentively. One symptom of inattentive chanting is the wrong pronunciation of the holy names. One devotee chanted mantra on beads near Prabhupada. He chanted so quickly that it sounded like: “Snick, snick, snick! Prabhupada heard him and said: ” Be careful! Otherwise at the end of this life you may go to Snick-loka! “.

Maharaja also said that some devotees, if they’re chanting inattentively, may miss beads or chant two mantras on one bead. When we were all about to sart chanting in unison Gurudev said that at the end of the round we would check to see if we had all finished simultaneously or if someone still had a bead or two to chant on.

We started to chant. I was nervous. I tried to concentrate, but it was very difficult for me. I was afraid: what if I don’t finish the round on the same bead as Maharaja? Anyway, we chanted like this after every class, but then on the second to last day, when Maharaja finished his round, I still had three extra beads!

The third darshan.

One day prior to it I had a conversation with Rasabihari prabhu . Doubts had again started to overcome me, concerning, about whether I can undertake such responsibility as initiation, whether I can strictly follow the vows so that I serve Gurudeva up to the end of my life without offences. I left the building feeling gloomy. I then met Rasabihari prabhu, who with a severe look said to me: “you think carefully! It is a serious step! You  cannot break principles any more! It will be necessary to tolerate your mind and senses! ” And when I heard the word “tolerate” in my consciousness a gloomy future appeared, a certain grey life: there will be  temptations from maya, kicks, impacts, and similar things, but I must tolerate them!

I felt bad for some reason. And if it were not for the third darshan I do not know, whether I would be able to get out of this condition or not.

At the darsana Maharaja accepted me with pleasure .

- If Maharaja has smth to do  I am ready to come later, - I speak to translator.

- My  only business now is to answer your questions, - smiles Maharaja.

- Well it will occupy some time, - I answer, remembering that it is third darshan, and it is possible there are some disciples who did not see Maharaja.

-For  how  long time? Up to the end of festival ? - Jokes Gurudev, and here I understand, that everything is all right.

We talk about my life, about obstacles in a way of devotional service.

- If one breaks principles after initiation - very big reactions will come - explains Maharaja.

I speak about the excitements before initiation. I ask for instructions  on the future.

Gurudeva responds:

- I think, that you should go to the temple a number of times every week for the morning program!

Maharaja also gives blessings for developing Food for life in my town, Kazan.

“It is necessary to apply intellegence!” And ” Try to double number of those you feed! ” - these phrases I remember better than others.

I vaguely remember the first meeting with Gurudev. It was in 1994  during his first visit to Kazan, when I was a child. When I was 12, I again met him when I interviewed him for our newspaper. Gurudev warmly accepted me and answered all my questions. And when I was going to leave, Maharaja stopped me and started to ask about my life. It touched me deeply. Why was Maharaja was interested in me? Who am I?

I asked myself these questions for a long time after that meeting. And  so this evening, in Krinitsa Maharaja also warmly accepted me and dispelled all my doubts.

The fourth darshan appeared unplanned and took place in the evening, on the eve of the initiation. I helped Gurudev to sort documents for the Russian GBC meeting, and when I was going to leave, he stopped me.

- What’s your actual name?
- Denis
- And who has named you Dravida?
- Prabhavishnu Swami?
- Are you attached to this name? Do you want to leave it?
- Yes I am attached, but I want that you give me a new name.
- No problem.
- And with what and with whom this name should be connected  ?

I had not think about with whom this name should be connected.

- With Lord Nityananda!
- Oh! It’s not so simple to find a name connected with Lord Nityananda
beginning with the letter D.
- Let it will be with another letter!

That was my last conversation with Gurudev before initiation.

Initiation.

I sit in the tent. The beginning is delayed. First comes Govinda Maharaja, then Rohinisuta prabhu, then Gurudeva! Then Bhakti Vaibhava Maharaja and Lokanatha Swami.

Each of the spiritual masters delivers a speech about importance of acceptance of initiation. Bhakti Caitanya Swami concentrates his attention on the 10 offences against the holy name. Lokanath Swami then said that
initiation means taking a new birth. He sang the English song: “Happy Birthday to you!”

- I wish you happy birthday! I wish, that you will not born in a material world again!

After the important  words  the most important part starts - taking vows and giving  names. First a disciple of Lokanatha Maharaja named Vitaly receives the spiritual name Vitalla. There is a Deity of Krishna with such name in india. Actually this Deity was in Ancient Russia.

The turn reaches our Guru Maharaja and up to me in particular. I promise to follow four principles, to chant at least 16 rounds of the Hare Krishna mantra every day.

Gurudev looks straight into my eyes. He is very glad also. He supports me with through his eyes, as if he is saying: “Say the vows more confidently, do not be afraid, I am here! ”

- Your name will be connected with Lord Nityananda, - with a smile  says Maharaja.
- Lord Nityananda is very merciful! From now on you will be known as Doyal Nitay das ! Hari Bol!

- Haribol, - I shout in full ecstasy and I bow. I do not need anything else. Frankly speaking  I had thought of this name on the eve opf the initiation, but it somehow just passed fleetingly through my head. But when Maharaja pronounced it, it was real mercy, from him and Lord Nityananda!

Tatyana, wife of Acharja Ratna also takes the vows.

- Your name is the name of one of the gopis, - says Maharaja. - From now on you will be known as  Taravali devi dasi.! Haribol!

Such were some of the pastimes of Bhakti Caitanya Swami at the Krinitsa Festival in Russia.

My godbrother Giridhari Prabhu makes a case for separating shastra from tradition. Why? Because it's so counter-productive to progress:

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... if you come away from this with a good feeling.

Marxism as a philosophy is anti-family because it models the relationship of the husband and wife as one between the bourgeoisie and the proletariat, with the husband as the bourgeoi-master and wife as the prole-servant. This unequal power differential, as per Marxist conflict theory, is regarded as a cause for the oppression of women. The solution? The dissolution of the monogamous family structure (bolding added):

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27-Oct-08, 1.30 pm report

The doctors are happy with the progress. In fact they are amazed how Guru Maharaja is making fast recovery in comparison to other similar cases. They say it is a miracle. Although they wanted to take off the ventilator because of the unstable BP they don’t want to do it today. Hasty decision might become dangerous at this time so the doctors are very careful. His sugar level is alright. Guru Maharaja is moving his limbs on his own and opens is eyes now and then on his own.

No devotees are absolutely allowed in the hospital to see Guru Maharaja as he gets emotional and that increases his BP. Atleast for 2 to 3 days NO DEVOTEES WILL BE ALLOWED may it be senior devotees or GBCs, TPs etc. Please stay where you are and pray and chant for Gurudeva to heal faster.

Your humble servant,

Ratnavali dd

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First of all I would like to thank all devotees around the world for their prayers for our Guru Maharaja, His Holiness Jayapataka Swami Maharaj. Guru Maharaja's situation still remains very critical. Though there are some indications of slight positive development still it is only a very insignificant development. He is still supported by ventilator. Though once or twice a day he just opens his eyes and apparently responds, with out speaking, to what devotees say but it is not so remarkable improvement.

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From Ratnavali...

Guru Maharaja's health is progressing very nicely and the doctors are happy with his improvement. Yesterday the doctor saw him coughing and said it is a good symptom. This means the bodily system has started to function.

A visiting doctor asked Guru Maharaja to first lift the left hand which he did. Not only that, he also articulated all his fingers very well. The doctor then asked him to lift the right hand he wasn't able to lift it well. He said some physiotherapy would be required.

Later Dr. P.P Ashok came and asked Guru Maharaja to lift his legs. Guru Maharaja lifted both the legs and started to move them in the air 3 to 4 times. Guru Maharaja also pointed to the tube in the mouth indicating he wants to speak. Therefore the doctor said that Guru Maharaja is showing excellent responses and that Guru Maharaja understand everything 100%. Guru Maharaja had good eye contact with the doctors the whole time. The doctor gave instruction to the nurses that they could start removing the tubes one by one.

Just by seeing shaven-headed, sari-clad, tilak bearing devotees can
begin to convince people that there is a goal greater than sense
gratification ? beyond sex and money.

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By H.G. Radha Piyari dasi

Yesterday, around 11 pm Gurumaharaj arrived back from Bombay. Today before Bhagavatam class he spoke about HH Jayapataka Maharaj. He explained in detail about how he got to know about Maharaj’s health and how Maharaj was taken to the Hospital. The doctors first did all the check ups for the heart, like ECG, to find out that is Maharaj got a heart attack? But everything came normal, except his blood pressure. After this primary check up, the doctors took Maharaja to the intensive care unit. There they did Maharaja’s CT-scan. From the CT-scan the doctors found out that Maharaj had a brain hemorrhage. Around 8 am the doctors explained the seriousness of Maharaj’s health to all the sannyasis there, including Gurumaharaj. The doctors explained that there are 2 hemorrhages in the ‘stem’ part of Maharaj’s brain. This stem of the brain is that part which the doctors can’t touch at all means they can’t operate it.

But they also explained the reason for this hemorrhages; one reason is that Maharaja’s blood pressure was very high, over 200 approximately, and second his blood count was very low, around 41000. Blood count indicates the thickness of blood, so in simple words Maharaja’s blood got too thin. So then the doctors brought Maharaj’s blood pressure to normal, and increased the blood count to 75000. The doctors told that Maharaj’s recovery will be very slow, it may take months. But the positive side is that there is some movement in Maharaj’s body. He opened his eyes once or twice and moved his feet. Before leaving for Ujjain, Gurumaharaj went to the hospital to see Maharaj. The doctors were not allowing anyone to see Maharaja, but they did allow Gurumaharaj to see Maharaj. Gurumaharaja even touched Maharaja, but Maharaj was still unconscious. Gurumaharaj was there for half an hour.

Gurumaharaja also told that the schedule of meetings was very tense (tight), about 7 hours a day in two shifts. This was because instead of seven days the meetings were only for 4 days. HH Jayapataka Maharaj was taking medicines for controlling his high blood pressure and that medicines were not so good according to the doctors. He was quit sick from some time but he did not go for proper check up and medication. Gurumaharaj got to know all this from Maharaja’s secretary.

Gurumaharaja also talked to Srinathji Prabhu a very senior devotee. He is disciple of HH Radhanath Maharaj, he met Srila Prabhupada. He told Gurumaharaja that when Srila Prabhupada came to India, HH Jayapataka Maharaja came with him and Prabhupada wanted him to have Indian citizenship. So Srila Prabhupada asked Srinathji Prabhu’s father (who was the MP-member of parliament that time) to adopt Maharaj as his son. But that time our movement was very new and Maharaj was a young foreigner boy of 17 (approximately), therefore this Prabhu refused humbly. But Prabhupada told that this boy (Maharaj), will remain in the movement, will learn Bengali, will preach all over Bengal in Bengali and will get Indian citizenship. That is the exalted position of Maharaja.

Then Gurumaharaj told us that we all should pray to Krsna, that if He so desire, He can cure Srila Jayapataka Maharaj, so that he can actively involve in preaching again and can give us his most wonderful association. Gurumaharaja also instructed the devotees to have 24 hours kirten in the temple and to put a picture of Maharaj in Sri Sri Radha Madan Mohan’s alter.

So if we all will pray with all our love of the heart, our prayers will work. If Krsna so desire, we will soon see Maharaj giving us his most wonderful association and guidance.

Hari das singing a wonderful Hare Krishna bhajan at the home of Ketan and Usha Patel.  

Dallas, TX
2008-10-24

"This little historical story (when Draupadi turned to Krsna for protection when disrobing threatened her) tells us a little bit about endeavor. It´s not enough to just chant Krishna´s name, you need to also surrender. If you just chant without surrender, Krishna does not hear you, but if you chant with surrender, Krishna will hear you and come to your aid. Whose prayers does the Lord hear? Well, the answer to this question is: He hears those prayers that are offered by the devotee who is practiced in the art of saranagati, or looking for shelter. We cannot do much on our own; we are quite helpless. But we can endeavor to take shelter at Krishna´s lotus feet by accepting those things that are favorable and rejecting those things that are unfavorable. We can endeavor in these directions. We can also endeavor to conduct ourselves in a humble way and we can similarly take shelter of Lord Krishna. I have seen in my life and in the lives of many devotees that Krishna seems to wait for the moment when we profoundly approach Him and take shelter. Only then will Krishna listen to our prayers and come to our aid. If there is an empty heart or proud heart that thinks "I can do everything on my own," then Krishna does not rush and does not come, but the moment the devotee endeavors to take shelter at Krishna´s lotus feet and surrender, at that moment Lord Krishna easily rushes to the aid of His devotees. The drama of our life, the history of our life, the particular story of our own journey is always a story about our own decision to surrender to Sri Sri Radha Govinda. This is always at the nucleus of our spiritual endeavor. I would like to ask all of you in this month of Kartik to sincerely think about your endeavors on the path of surrender because it is very necessary to show Lord Krishna that we are not indifferent to His mercy and that we sincerely wish to have His mercy. I ask you to make a plan about how you can conduct your devotional life in such a way that your endeavor to surrender is very strongly manifest."

Hare Krsna

Aruna dd

Center: 3764 Watseka Ave. Los Angeles, Calif. 90034

July 1, 1971

My Dear Shama Dasi

Please accept my blessings. I beg to thank you very much, for your letter and nice presentations. I was thinking of you since a long time because I have not received any letter from you. I am very pleased with your nice presentation and I have seen the pictures of your son, Samba, also. He is looking very jolly. So raise him nicely in Krishna Consciousness.

Hayagriva was here and we had some very nice talks. I am glad that you are managing New Vrindaban, so do it nicely. Be happy in Krishna Consciousness and be the ideal grihastra. Better to be satisfied with one nice Krishna Conscious child and the rest of your time saved for making advancement in Krsna Consciousness.

You will be glad to know that by the middle of this month I will be going to N.Y. and shortly thereafter surely I will be coming to New Vrindaban, as I have told Hayagriva. I have received one letter of invitation from Kirtanananda Maharaj also. I am always aspiring to eat your nice chopaties, so when I go there, you will have to give me many.

Please offer my blessings to the others. Hoping this will meet you in good health.

Your ever well wisher,

A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami

Just in the mail box...

Dr. Syamalal Prabhu from the Bhaktivedanta hospital asked Guru Maharaja to give his right hand and he responded to it. The doctor asked Guru Maharaja to squeeze his hand and Guru Maharaja squeezed his hand. The doctor asked Guru Maharaja to move his legs then he started shaking the legs vigourously. Even the bed started to shake. Therefore the doctor wanted him to stop and Guru Maharaja immediately stopped. Whenever the doctor speaks to Guru Maharaja he opens his eyes and looks at the doctor.

Guru Maharaja is still in a delicate situation and the hospital has strictly ordered not to disturb him.

We request worldwide devotees to pray to Sri Nrsimhadeva for our dear Guru Maharaja, HH Jayapataka Swami, to come out of his critical health situation. Doctors diagnosed that it is brain hemorrhage

Just in from Ratnavali...

Revati Raman Prabhu, the Temple President of Tirupati, AP, India one of the senior disciples of Guru Maharaja is rendering a very important service for the care and safety of Guru Maharaja in the hospital by the ICU. Today under the supervision of the doctors and nurses he approached Guru Maharaja to tie a pavitram of Tirupati Balaji Deity. While tying the pavitram on Guru Maharaja's hand Revati Raman Prabhu spoke, "We love you so much. Every one around the world wants you. They are all praying for you and sending so many emails." As Guru Maharaja heard this he opened his eyes looking at Revati Raman prabhu for 2 minutes and raised his left hand pointing to his mouth.

The doctors and nurses were amazed and said that Guru Maharaja perfectly understood what Prabhu said and indicated that he was unable to speak because of the tubes in his mouth.

Lord Caitanya's direct reasons for appearing on earth was to draw
people into constant meditation on the Supreme Lord. Therefore, when He
was a child, he repeatedly acted naughtily and thereby drew everyone's
attention. He chastised brahmanas who claimed He 'broke their
meditation' by distracting them. In reality, however, he was pulling
attention directly onto Him. On such occasions He would sometimes ask,
"Who are you meditating on?"

Friday was spent shopping, and we came home to a whopping brown tree snake to greet us at the back door. This one, to be precise, though our snake did not allow himself the luxury of a photograph, but rather hid for hours behind a bucket.

Later that night I encountered another local inhabitant, also perched at the back door. Meet Jabba.

The class on Saturday was 'a ripper'. Here's our jolly crew, relaxing in their calm-before-Kurma Storm.

Our laugh-a-minute host Andrew poses atop his prize - a (rarely seen in The Territories) Wild Humpback Panir (Lacteous lumpus, subsp. caseinii), 15 litres worth.

Our team sat down to one of my groaniest (I know there is no such word) dinner tables ever. What a spread!

This is what we cooked:

“Vegetarian World Food”

Fragrant, Tomato-laced South Indian Hot & Sour Toor Dal Soup (Rasam) Seared Chili-infused Fresh Panir Steaks On a bed of Sweet Potato Mash North Indian Cabbage, Coconut and Peanut Salad (Kobi Pachadi) South Indian Lemon Rice with Almonds, Fresh Coconut & Coriander Stir-fry of Oven-roasted Cauliflowers with Sugar Snap Peas and Cashews Fresh Crisp Puffed North-Indian Fried Wheat Breads (Poories) Hot & Sweet Orange-scented Apple Chutney Creamy Cardamom-infused Condensed Yogurt Dessert with Pistachios and Saffron Syrup (Shrikhand) (pictured below)

It's time for a late brekky. No guesses what's on the menu.