He lectured on the verse that everyone, where they are sarvakama, moksakama, or niskama should worship the Personality of Godhead. Hearing Srila Prabhupada’s voice is different from reading his books, and it’s a special treat. It’s very personal. It’s as if he’s present in the room. He gives examples and anecdotes not always found in his books and gives you the medium of hearing his sound vibration.
June 12, 2:15 A.M.
I woke up at 9:30 P.M. last night with a headache. I took medication, and the headache eventually went away. But I stayed up all night listening to a terrific wind and rain storm that continued for hours. I finally got up at 2:00 A.M. and went to the bathroom. Now I am ready to call Narayana up and to start my japa. I’m afraid I’ll be sleepy, since I didn’t sleep during the night.
3:37 A.M.
- Early-morning japa log
About the third round, I woke up and realized what I was supposed to be doing. I started concentrating on the rounds. My speed was slow—sometimes eight minutes, sometimes twelve and a half minutes. Only with the very last round did I come down to a speedy five minutes, eight seconds. I was whispering, but audibly. My mind was fixed on the chanting of the rounds and not wandering to other things, not much. Glancing at the Deities of Radha-Govinda gave me a boost. Every day, They look more beautiful. I have done eight rounds. I’m aware of its importance. I chant mechanically but with feeling, too. The numerical strength is the most important thing. Numbers and speed and enunciation. I put it all together. It’s a decent yajna.
- Japa essay
Chanting japa with a clear head is a great gift. I was able to do it, unaware of pain. The time went by slowly, although I was pushing. Japa must be an intense endeavor. It is not a laid-back thing. As you chant, you simultaneously brush out of the thoughts, like using a hand brush and a dustpan. You keep your mind clean. As for thinking of the pastimes of Radha and Krishna, I have not reached that stage. I am a mantra chanter. I am trying to avoid the ten offenses in chanting. On one level, I’m doing it pretty well, but not going further. I don’t blaspheme devotees, I don’t consider the names of the demigods as equal or independent of the name Krishna. I don’t doubt the scriptures, I don’t take the chanting as exaggeration or make an interpretation of it. I chant with attention. I don’t commit sinful activities on the strength of chanting. I don’t consider the chanting a material act of piety. I don’t teach the chanting of the holy names to faithless persons. I don’t chant for material benefits. I try to avoid these basic offenses. But I don’t cry out to Krishna and Radha, “Please let me serve You.” I don’t dwell on Their sweet pastimes. Bhaktivinoda Thakura has made a reversal of the ten offenses and taken them all in a positive way. As an example, instead of the first offense being, “Don’t blaspheme devotees,” he says you should always be happy when you see the devotees. I haven’t achieved all his positive reversals. I don’t chant fully from the heart. I don’t manifest any bodily symptoms of ecstasy. So I still chant out of duty, not spontaneity. Don’t be disappointed, but don’t think you have reached the stage of bhava. Keep chanting like a workhorse. Giddyup.
- You chant with joy
- sometimes.
- Somtimes it’s work.
- Sometimes you drowse.
- You’re just a jerk.
-
- Sometimes you love it,
- sometimes you’re spaced.
- You’re not consistent,
- you lake a pace.
- Oh pitiful chanter,
- when will you reach the grace
- of ecstatic mantras
- in the footsteps of the acharyas,
- who have won this race?
- When will you chant
- with happy face?
-
6:41 A.M.
It rained all night, and there are puddles in the parking lot. The sky is overcast. All three of us have some sickness. We joke that we’re like the three wounded fellows in the picture, “The Spirit of ’76.” Dattatreya has the flu, I’ve got my headaches and constipation, and Narayana has his back problem. But we keep in good spirits. Narayana has been baking some tarts. We read outloud at dinnertime. In the Brhad-bhagavatamrta, in Satyaloka, the scriptures personified have been having an argument. Srimad-Bhagavatam didn’t even want to hear the impersonal arguments, and he covered his ears and walked away. He upholds that just by chanting mantras to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, one can gain perfection. Some of the Upanishads argue in favor of liberation. Of course, the Srimad-Bhagavatam’s opinion is definitive and confidential. Gopa-kumara is convinced in favor of Srimad-Bhagavatam.
Yesterday I listened to lectures of Srila Prabhupada, something I haven’t done in a long time. I listened to two lectures. It was wonderful hearing him speak, and I intend to keep up the practice. He lectured on the verse that everyone, where they are sarvakama, moksakama, or niskama should worship the Personality of Godhead. Hearing Srila Prabhupada’s voice is different from reading his books, and it’s a special treat. It’s very personal. It’s as if he’s present in the room. He gives examples and anecdotes not always found in his books and gives you the medium of hearing his sound vibration. It’s better than watching television.
My headaches are coming more frequently, and it’s a dilemma. I lose hours every day. It shapes my life to that of an invalid. But fortunately I have enough time to write my journal and chant good rounds. This seems to be the extent of the service I can do for now.
8:30 A.M.
“Oleo.” This is a jazz song composed by Sonny Rollins. I don’t know the meaning of “oleo.” It reminds you of the word ole!, shouted by Flemenco dancers or Mexican dancers, an ejaculation of enthusiasm. The Vaisnavas use the words, “Hari bol!” Prabhupada once said this was a shortcut to the Hare Krishna mantra. “Bol” means “chant” or “sing,” and Hari is the name of the Lord. So “Hari bol” means “chant the name of the Lord.” Miles Davis plays it upbeat on muted trumpet, and Coltrane plays the melody behind him. “Hari bol!” has got much more meaning than “oleo.” Let’s rename the tune. Call it, “Hari Bol!” Then you’ve got an offering to Krishna, wailing “Hari bol!” to the Lord. Coltrane really plays it nice, fast and hard, calling on the Lord. After improvisations, they go back to the head. Hari bol.
“It Could Happen to You.” A person could fall in love if he’s not careful. “Hide your heart from sight, lock your dreams at night, it could happen to you.” It happened to him. It happened to Radha and Krishna. They met each other, and it happened to Them. All they did was wonder what it would be like, and it happened to Them. All they did was wonder how it would be, and it happened to Them. “Keep an eye on spring, run when church bells ring, it could happen to you.” They were just an innocent cowherd boy and an innocent cowherd girl, but They fell in love at first sight. You could be walking down the street and see the sankirtana party chanting, and all of a sudden it could happen to you. You’d be chanting too. Or just walk into the storefront and see Swamiji speaking. Better be careful, or it could happen to you. You could become a disciple. If you’re not careful, you could be swept up into spiritual life. All it takes is a little piety and a little good luck and being at the right place at the right time. Just hear the mahamantra. It could happen to you.
“Woody’n You.” This is dedicated to Woody Herman. It’s written by Dizzy Gillespie. Wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you take to spiritual life if you could? It’s the easiest thing. Wouldn’t you serve the spiritual master if you could? Wouldn’t you go back to Godhead if there really was such a place? A place of eternity, knowledge and bliss? You say you don’t believe there is, but if there really was such a place, wouldn’t you go there? Yes, you would. Wouldn’t you take a little prasadam? Wouldn’t you follow the Jagannatha cart down the street and see His big eyes? Wouldn’t you like to be happy, and not just for a few minutes or a few years? Wouldn’t you like to be eternally blessed? Wouldn’t you like to be embraced by the most handsome of all male personalities? Wouldn’t you like to serve Srimati Radharani? You don’t know about these things because you don’t know Krishna consciousness, but wouldn’t you like it if you could find out? Please come to a class and hear just one lecture. Just chant with us one time. Wouldn’t you like to be free of troubles? Wouldn’t you like to be free of birth and death and disease and old age? All that’s possible in bhakti yoga. Give it a chance. Wouldn’t you like to be free of hassles? Wouldn’t you like to go to the kingdom of God? Just try it. It’s very easy. All you have to do is chant Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Wouldn’t you give it a chance?
“Scrapple From the Apple.” This is a Charlie Parker tune. The apple is the Big Apple, New York City. That was Swamiji’s first place. He came to the Big Apple and opened a temple at 26 2nd Avenue. That’s still the place for Krishna consciousness. He said New York was very dear to him because he started there and they treated him well, the first bunch who came. I was one of them. I’m so happy to have been there. Swamiji was our father and our guide, our guru. We started in the Apple with ISKCON in July of 1966. Keith Jarrett’s playing it here on his piano. A simple jazz tune. Krishna consciousness was like that in ’66, a simple jazz tune. We came and joined. Swamiji was our master. We walked the streets of the Lower East Side with him and went to Tompkins Square Park and held our first kirtanas. Crowds gathered around us and looked on at the odd sight. Prabhupada played the one-headed drum in the Big Apple. Frank Sinatra sang that if you could make it in New York City, you could make it anywhere. And so Prabhupada made it in New York City, and then went on to San Francisco. But first, New York. It will always be first, New York. That’s the memory. Those were happy days. Swamiji had only twelve men and very little money. But he was strong and virile and happy, and he lectured three nights a week. Had a half-hour kirtana, which he led himself, and we sang the response. Sometimes we cried when we got high on the kirtana. He said it was all right. We didn’t know very much, but we knew that we loved him, and we took what he said as truth. He told us about Krishna and the Bhagavad-gita. I went with him once to Chambers Street in the Big Apple to see a lawyer, and we came back together on the bus. I pulled the buzzer one stop too early, and he said, “No, it’s the next stop.” He knew New York better than I did. Keith Jarrett is swinging it nicely, “The Scrapple of the Apple.” Taking it lightly and fast. His drummer, too. Jazzmen in New York City used to play riffs of Hare Krishna in that first year. All we had was a scrapple of the Apple, just a little movement. That was the beginning. It all started there. And then it grew. New York City was the first.
10:30 A.M.
- My Dear Lord Krishna...
-
I write to You as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. You are standing on the altar, arms upraised, Your feet in a dancing position. To Your left stands Nityananda, Your eternal brother and comrade in arms in a sankirtana army of Navadvipa. You both rose simultaneously like the sun and moon in Gauda to spread the chanting of the mahamantra, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare/ Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. You are thus the most magnanimous avataras to appear on earth. The distribution of the Hare Krishna mantra is the kindest act performed by God in this age of Kali, the age of quarrel and hypocrisy. The chanting of Hare Krishna frees sinful persons from the reactions to their sins and inspires them with love of God. It is very easy to perform and can be done without following any hard and fast rules.
So I thank You for coming for distributing the mahamantra and the philosophy of Krishna consciousness. The names of God are as good as God Himself. By chanting, one cleanses his heart of dust accumulated for many lifetimes. Lord Caitanya asked Nityananda Rama and Haridasa Thakura to go door to door and ask people to chant the mahamantra. This preaching order still stands, and thousands of followers of Lord Caitanya are working to spread the chanting of the mahamantra. In 1965, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada took the mahamantra out of India and formed a world religion through the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Prabhupada’s work made a quantum leap of Lord Caitanya’s mission. The mahamantra is a household word, and people continue to join in all the countries of the world.
I pray that I may take shelter in Lord Caitanya’s movement and contribute to its spreading. One can take shelter of Lord Caitanya by chanting the holy names. This can be done by private prayer (japa) and public, congregational singing (kirtana). The chanting must be done in a prayerful state of mind, with no personal motivation. I must chant as an act of service to You, Lord, calling Your names while asking to serve You. You have written eight prayers, called the Siksastakam, which contain the essential instructions on how to chant the names. In the third prayer, You state, “One should chant the holy names in a humble state of mind, thinking oneself lower than the straw in the street. One should be more tolerant than a tree and ready to offer all respects to others without expecting respect for himself. In such a state of mind, one can chant the holy name of the Lord constantly.” This indicates the importance of humility in the behavior of a follower of Lord Caitanya. I should not think I am better than others just because I am chanting. Yet, while acting humbly, I should boldly act to spread the movement of chanting Hare Krishna. I pray that You give me this courage and balance.
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